How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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