Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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