Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
