So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
