How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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