I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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