Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize