What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
