Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
