I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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