please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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