We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
