im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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