the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
