they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
