she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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