This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
