Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize