I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
