Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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