Can i not drive my cunt home
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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