im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
In America we eat man semen.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
