We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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