so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize