im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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