Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
