Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
