Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
