i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
