So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize