yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
