Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!

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(949): View more from California

You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.

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(330): View more from Ohio

This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?

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(540): View more from Virginia

I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us

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(540): View more from Virginia

I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.

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(207): View more from Maine

Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.

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(620): View more from Kansas

ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.

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