According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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