It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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