omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
