Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
