Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
