Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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