I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize