I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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