Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize