His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
