the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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