We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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