You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I am available for nakedness
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
