Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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