I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize