life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
