There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm getting married
To pizza
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize