Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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