it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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