jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
