did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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