i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize