six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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