I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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