Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
handjob tips. give me some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize