So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
