God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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