i jhust puked up my retainher.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
did i just pee glitter
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
