This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
