i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
