if only i could text you this smell
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
