There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
